Trauma is relative. My loving daughter just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years.
He just dumped my 27-year-old girl, who was madly in love with him.
She is heartbroken, and a lost soul. She has trauma.
As I write: “We are either entering a traumatic period, in one, or just exiting one.”
So, Jenn has trauma, is disillusioned with life, and is a sad young lady.
Which leads me to Johnny K. Johnny lives in North Carolina, and has been a long-term subscriber to our services.
As with many of our subscribers I begin working with them by email and build a rapport and friendship, and many of our longer-term subscribers are truly my friends.
Every day Johnny sends me jokes by email. As you can imagine, I get many jokes and junk mail, and read none of them, but something years ago made me click on a Johnny joke and I’ve been hooked since then. He knows how to find them.
Last week Johnny wrote me and asked if I would please call him. As you know, I do not talk to subscribers purposely, as it fills my trading day and makes it impossible to work, but I immediately called Johnny.
He had asked me to call to “thank me.” His thanks were for my “opening up his mind to all of human potential, and sharing my psychological and philosophical thinking throughout my newsletters.” And, he called to tell me that he had just been diagnosed with a large brain tumor and was being operated on Monday, October 19th.
The reality is that Johnny could die from this. His odds are not good. Since that first call, I’ve spoken with his daughter Dianna and written with Johnny daily.
Trauma comes in circles, and as a test. Several months ago Johnny had written that he must cancel his subscription, as he had lost his job. I gave Johnny an extended free subscription, and we spoke in email about life, how to handle “loss,” and what “who you want to be is.”
So Johnny’s second trauma, and that of his loving wife Linda and family, is now facing surgery, chemotherapy, and a Dr. suggested “short time to live.”
This letter is to Johnny. Or, really, to all of us that have trauma, is experiencing loss.
Thinking is the source of all problems, and there really are no problems. We always feel older or younger than we are.
There is no reason to move so fast, and to have so much input. None. We create the intensity of life, the “overstress” of ourselves. There is no such thing as stress, it is what we experience based on outside sources.
Earlier stress was coping with life or death, now it has grown to include any experience we allow it, based on the input we allow – moving, job loss, divorce, etc are newer, created stresses.
I can learn from you as much as you can learn from me. This goes back to basic listening, which few of us do well.
Stop all negativity. This is harder than anything, especially when you think how big a statement it is, and how negative you REALLY are. If you haven’t figured it out, this is it. When involved in anything negative you are immediately under the influence of negative. This is stupid.
When you get good, things get better. Whoever you were is over, even a second ago.
And this all goes back to my dear friend Johnny, who may be dying, or may be living. Dr. Bernie Siegel, the famed MD specializing in cancer has taught me “getting cancer is one of the best things that can happen to you; having a near dying experience alone helps you know who you are, and how you have lived.”
My mission statement: To Give. To Flow. To make and have good memories.
We only have what we remember.
And our goals should be how and what memories we have and that we make.
I’ve written this to all our subscribers, as my tribute to Johnny.
I first thought of the word “eulogy.” Eulogy really means giving praise to another person; sadly we have eulogized most as a culture only as someone is dying.
Johnny K is not dying. He is living. He has lived. He has shared with me. He has given of himself to me, unselfishly.
So yes, I am eulogizing, and praising my friend. I offer tribute to a man and family facing the greatest fear, that there could be death, and I offer my love and unconditional spirit.
Because of our belief systems, our traumas, and the events in our lives and how we deal with them we forget the beauty in the world.
Each of us leaves a legacy. I would know Johnny to be a good father, husband, man, and seeker of truth.
I believe that organized religion works well at influencing churchgoers to understand only what that religion understands, and believes. I further believe we as people have misinterpreted the interpretations we’ve read of various spiritual guides, like The Bible, and I will end this with the beginning.
We are each God. God is love. God is within us. It is our goal is life to learn just how much we are, and the spirit that lies within our limited visions of ourselves.
Johnny, I love you, and you are love. You are a part of God. I am here for you.
Listen Well. Do Good. Be Well.
Floyd the Trader
October 18th, 2009